today is a really special day for me..since i feel like i got this message directly from god communicated through the people around me...
i have to become sincere,responsible and diligent...
i need to be organised and become inquisitive about everything...
and start asking the right questions....i need to develop the habit of reading and writing a lot...
i should identify the right material to go through and start working on it...
i should be confident that i can do so many things and concentrate properly in whatever i do...
whatever i do should be filled with passion...i should enjoy whatever i do...
i think i m gonna start doing something rite now...
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
after the pre-sems
this side or that side,
where is my pride???
what am i doing??
still in searching...
people are around me,
but still am unlike me...
feels strange,
rips everything apart,
dont know what exactly to do,
something tells me i cant do,
feel like i am vulnerable,
where is my bmw convertible,
cant be more uncomfortable,
dont knw what is my purpose,
dont knw what i am doing,
dont knw where am gonna go with this,
dont knw.....
where is my pride???
what am i doing??
still in searching...
people are around me,
but still am unlike me...
feels strange,
rips everything apart,
dont know what exactly to do,
something tells me i cant do,
feel like i am vulnerable,
where is my bmw convertible,
cant be more uncomfortable,
dont knw what is my purpose,
dont knw what i am doing,
dont knw where am gonna go with this,
dont knw.....
Monday, August 04, 2008
dont have a clue....:-(
the place where i am rite now is probably the one i have always been dreaming throughout my life....i have been given all sorts of creative freedom....i can learn anything abt computers in anyway i want to ...no restrictions...no regulations....i m kinda thrilled with the things that are going on rite now...especially with my career....
But stilll........theres definitely a but....life is full of roller coaster rides.....
i dont understand even a bit as to why i do anything....except in studies where theres a logical explanation for everything i do....but other than my studies....like having friends and stuff...i think i m seriously retarded....i m probably being really hard on myself....but...what to do...thats what i get to knw frm the record of my friends.....
How many friends do i have in the whole of my 20 yrs of existence....i cn literally count on my fingers...
i do certain things....thinking something else and it being interpreted in a diff way...i dont understand ...may be i m meant to not have friends at all....is this how geeks are supposed to feel like ....i dont have a clue.....looking at this i atleast feel that my parents are there to back me up whenever i want them to...i really dont need a friend....
But will always keep wishing to have a group of FRIENDS like the TV show .....may be sit with each other and have a nice time just chatting abt stupid stuff and keep laughing on absolutely senseless things.....just whileawaying the time....
well moral of the story....its not really bad to be a loner all the time....though it always feels good to be part of a group....but doesnt mean that u need to be part of a group....
The only thing that is most important is that....i am part of a larger group ....the set of human beings in this most beautiful earth.....
there are a lot more beautiful things in life to cherish than just keep brooding over something that cant be controlled...its all about how i try to enjoy my life and how i make the best use of the opportunity that i have been given....
some day my sir told me that i was self driven and that i didnt need to be motivated by somebody else......well after the things that i have experienced in the past one or 2 weeks i realised what he was saying....i m always convincing myself to be happy and trying myself to be motivated....and i realise i need no more than god with me to be myself and achieve whatever i want in life.....
But stilll........theres definitely a but....life is full of roller coaster rides.....
i dont understand even a bit as to why i do anything....except in studies where theres a logical explanation for everything i do....but other than my studies....like having friends and stuff...i think i m seriously retarded....i m probably being really hard on myself....but...what to do...thats what i get to knw frm the record of my friends.....
How many friends do i have in the whole of my 20 yrs of existence....i cn literally count on my fingers...
i do certain things....thinking something else and it being interpreted in a diff way...i dont understand ...may be i m meant to not have friends at all....is this how geeks are supposed to feel like ....i dont have a clue.....looking at this i atleast feel that my parents are there to back me up whenever i want them to...i really dont need a friend....
But will always keep wishing to have a group of FRIENDS like the TV show .....may be sit with each other and have a nice time just chatting abt stupid stuff and keep laughing on absolutely senseless things.....just whileawaying the time....
well moral of the story....its not really bad to be a loner all the time....though it always feels good to be part of a group....but doesnt mean that u need to be part of a group....
The only thing that is most important is that....i am part of a larger group ....the set of human beings in this most beautiful earth.....
there are a lot more beautiful things in life to cherish than just keep brooding over something that cant be controlled...its all about how i try to enjoy my life and how i make the best use of the opportunity that i have been given....
some day my sir told me that i was self driven and that i didnt need to be motivated by somebody else......well after the things that i have experienced in the past one or 2 weeks i realised what he was saying....i m always convincing myself to be happy and trying myself to be motivated....and i realise i need no more than god with me to be myself and achieve whatever i want in life.....
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