amidst all confusion,
i throw out my frustration,
doubt my own creation,
need to change my perception.
things are just chnging so rapidly,
cant get hold of 'em properly,
fear and anxiety swinging swiftly,
thoughts are varying sporadically,
making decisions reluctantly,
trying hard so incessantly.
fear of starting afresh,
leaving things behind,
terrified of being swept away,
so much solitude,
is this a transition or more,
cant seem 2 find my ground..
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
just thinking...
its gonna be my exam tomorrow and all the emotions start flowing right out. I have been just watching around 7 1/2 hrs of non stop Television and i 've still gotta revise my notes for the exam tmrw. can't believe i m doing this during all of my exams.
it feels so strange for me to study in all these constraints, studying for my exams never amuses me at all, on the contrary i lose all the interest in studying and i have to try to mtivate myself in some or the other way.
still i m managing and doing a pretty decent job... i think i've gotta give credit to myself for that.... i still think i could do better than this and definitely improve myself...
first thing i've gotta do is to reduce my tv time.....
i have a lot to study and still wasting my time by watching tv.... i think i m gonna stop typing and start studying....
i m gonna hit the library for now......
it feels so strange for me to study in all these constraints, studying for my exams never amuses me at all, on the contrary i lose all the interest in studying and i have to try to mtivate myself in some or the other way.
still i m managing and doing a pretty decent job... i think i've gotta give credit to myself for that.... i still think i could do better than this and definitely improve myself...
first thing i've gotta do is to reduce my tv time.....
i have a lot to study and still wasting my time by watching tv.... i think i m gonna stop typing and start studying....
i m gonna hit the library for now......
Saturday, May 03, 2008
final orals of engg yeah ....
Phew...... what a day it was .
Yesterday happened to be the last oral exam of my engineering. (Hopefully)
The worst part of it was that the external prof was a real bugger. He was a real pain in the (u know what).
He was absolutely not ready to take my answer. He had made up his mind that whatever this person is gonna say , i have to act as though it is full of waste.
I clearly told him, "Respected Sir, I know RMI is consisting of Proxy and skeletons and their working is pretty much like a stub....." And by the time i could finish it up, he gave that weird look on his face that had the pretention clearly written on his facial palette.
The worst part is whatever i said was perfectly according to my fav author "Mr. The GR8 Andrew Tanenbaum- Distributed computing" . But NOOOOOO NOOOOOO. He wouldnt agree.
He asked me to give RE- VIVA .......... OH god Oh nOOOOOO how could i be wrong....
Boooo hooooo ./........ Booo Hoooooo.
I then come outside of the computer lab (where i gave my viva). And all my friends say that he was one big (i cant use all the bad words now.) Then i start studying and cross checking the facts i told him. Then someone told me that he had come last semester for their project presentation and the guy was cool, he didnt create trouble. And i wasnt the only one , there were another 8 people along with me. THANK GOD!!!!
Finally after 2 hrs i go and meet the prof (All 9 of us went) adn the guy asks me "what was ur question" And I go "Sir, it was abt RMI". Then he goes "Tell me what have u studied"
Then I go again "Sir, RMI consists of Proxy and Skeleton and they are like ...." Then he interrupts me " What is another name of proxy ? " and i go " Sir, Stubs as in RPC's" . Then he says "u can go "
I was like what the hell ? Are u letting me go away just like that without even writing any marks or answering some difficult questions. Isnt that what Re- viva's are all about.
NYWAY i am done with oral exams of engineering.
Another day in my (most boring, emotionless, no high power drama) life.
Yesterday happened to be the last oral exam of my engineering. (Hopefully)
The worst part of it was that the external prof was a real bugger. He was a real pain in the (u know what).
He was absolutely not ready to take my answer. He had made up his mind that whatever this person is gonna say , i have to act as though it is full of waste.
I clearly told him, "Respected Sir, I know RMI is consisting of Proxy and skeletons and their working is pretty much like a stub....." And by the time i could finish it up, he gave that weird look on his face that had the pretention clearly written on his facial palette.
The worst part is whatever i said was perfectly according to my fav author "Mr. The GR8 Andrew Tanenbaum- Distributed computing" . But NOOOOOO NOOOOOO. He wouldnt agree.
He asked me to give RE- VIVA .......... OH god Oh nOOOOOO how could i be wrong....
Boooo hooooo ./........ Booo Hoooooo.
I then come outside of the computer lab (where i gave my viva). And all my friends say that he was one big (i cant use all the bad words now.) Then i start studying and cross checking the facts i told him. Then someone told me that he had come last semester for their project presentation and the guy was cool, he didnt create trouble. And i wasnt the only one , there were another 8 people along with me. THANK GOD!!!!
Finally after 2 hrs i go and meet the prof (All 9 of us went) adn the guy asks me "what was ur question" And I go "Sir, it was abt RMI". Then he goes "Tell me what have u studied"
Then I go again "Sir, RMI consists of Proxy and Skeleton and they are like ...." Then he interrupts me " What is another name of proxy ? " and i go " Sir, Stubs as in RPC's" . Then he says "u can go "
I was like what the hell ? Are u letting me go away just like that without even writing any marks or answering some difficult questions. Isnt that what Re- viva's are all about.
NYWAY i am done with oral exams of engineering.
Another day in my (most boring, emotionless, no high power drama) life.
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